Heavy Hearts
by AmareAndAbomino
Summary: Would you do everything in your power to get someone to love you back?Or would you let fate do the job?How do you know if it's for real?How do you get over and deal?Well,if you ask me. . .let's just see how I handled things. . .
1. Meeting Eryne Laine

**Summary: **

This isn't just _a _story. This is _my_ story. _My_ love story. and no, it's not all princess, unicorn, rainbow fun.  
In fact, it's the opposite. And I'll admit, it _was_ my fault. For sinning. For coveting. Someone I can't have.  
Someone I shouldn't have. And yet, it doesn't stop me. It doesn't stop me from wanting this someone. Ever.

So ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome you to _my_ world. I would like to make you feel the way I have felt. To make you think how I once thought.  
So don't predict. It's _my _story. And I want _you_ to live by it. I want all of you people out there who think of me as a terrible person, to feel like I do.  
Leave your world behind, your shoes. And enter _my_ world. . .


	2. Knowing The Basics

**I own all that is in here.**

* * *

Is it wrong that I like English more than math? Is it wrong that I like writing more than spelling? Is it wrong that I choose _not_ to be free? Is it wrong that I like someone who can't like me back? And most importantly, is it wrong that I love someone who's in love with someone else?

To other people, they would have gone crying to their family about this situation. Or perhaps spill out to a friend. But not me. No one would understand. Not now, not ever. They would give you the classic "if you don't like it, get over it" advice. And believe me, whatever they tell you, all ends up to that. No help. And besides, the guy I'm helplessly in love with is dating one of my friends. Helen.

She's pretty if I may say so. But that's just that. Pretty. No, I am not saying _just_ pretty out of jealousy. I'm saying just pretty out of the truth. Sure, she's my friend, but that doesn't mean when she does something I know is wrong I'll back her ass up. She's pretty by the whole package. Meaning to say, she's got some looks, but none of which the personality a guy could fall for. Should fall for. Brown eyes, thick black curly shoulder-length hair, and a pretty good French accent from someone coming from Syria.

And this is where I stand. Long black hair, big brown almond shaped eyes, and naturally arched eyebrows. Excelling in English, average in math, and failing in French. I can be musical, at the right times, sometimes the wrong. I'm nearly a pro at volleyball. I'm sarcastic, a little too sarcastic to the point where I can get into big trouble. And a two sided personality. Sadly, no one's ever taken the time to see the good other side.

It's not like one person can change what a whole school of children think.

And now, to describe the leading man in my story. Adrian. The all time sport freak. A jock if you may. Tall, dark, and deadly. Tall for his age. Black, shaggy hair, dark brown eyes, always happy. Always mischievous. Cute smile, and to top it all up, a six pack abs.

It's pretty sad for me though. Considering the fact that no matter, I will always care. I will always need him. I will always want him. And I _know_ I will always love him. From the moment we first held-eye contact, I knew it then and there. He was it. He was the one for me. It didn't matter if we we're still only 6th grade at the time. When I know something, I know it well. Look at things now, already in 8th grade, and I'm still head-over-heels for the guy.

I dreamt of him. It was so clear. So close. So painful. I was talking to him. A civilized conversation for the first time ever. Then all of a sudden, Helen appears out of thin air. Almost purposely. She smiles at him, winks almost. He smiles too, sighs and takes her by the hand. And as if I wasn't ever there, talking to him, he walks right past by me, as she walks right through me.

As if I can just wake up and go to school like nothings wrong. And as a matter of fact, I do.

One thing I love about going to school is how I get there. I walk to school. Walking for me is like "Eryne time". I get to think. The serene sound of nature, the only thing I hear. The only comforting sound I can get.

Reaching towards school property, I see one of my best friends Chelsea run up to me. Giving me a random hug, followed by Claudia and Megan. I look around for Helen.

"She's with Adrian." Claudia answered, knowing my thoughts, giving me a knowing look. The only two people, who know about my infatuation, are Chelsea and Claudia. My BFF's since birth.

"Let's go to them!" Megan suggests. And even though it pains me to be near them both at the same time, I do as they say anyway.

Because no matter what I do. I should know by now that I can never change anything. I can't change how they feel about each other. And I can't change how I feel about Adrian. . .

* * *

"Yeah, well you're emo girl, if I'm a jock. And who says jocks can't be smart?" He argues as we walk home together. Helen rides the bus, and I walk home. Greatly, and sadly, so does Adrian. And he walks by the same route.

"Statistically, jocks can't be smart academically. Because then that would make you seemingly too perfect. Which you're not. No offense." I spoke softly. It's been years. We always walked home together. We always spoke to each other even though in an uncivilized manner. And yet, my stomach bubbles, my throat bursts, and my mouth dries up. I can never think straight around him, especially alone. I just act upon whatever. He's my only weakness. No matter how many times I try to convince myself and everyone around me that I hate him, I know that deep down, it's the complete opposite.

"You are a mean person." Let the teasing begin. I rolled my eyes at him. He pokes me repeatedly in the sides. I jerk away instantly.

I never liked being tickled, poked, or touched randomly. Especially by him. Any replied-reaction to his poking or tickling is counted as flirting right back at him to his current girlfriend.

Especially in our school.

St. Bartholomew.

Even for a catholic school, drama gets around faster than an SSC Ultimate Aero.

"Ticklish?" His deep voice bringing me out of my reverie. Smirking as if he knew me so well. And truth to be told, he might just know me so well. I'm quite obvious if I may say so.

"Psh, no I'm not." I turned, looking away from him.

"OH, yeah sure. Of course you're not, how silly of me." He shook his head. Feigning disappointment in himself. . The sarcasm was evident though, dripping in his every word.

I offered him a weak laugh, "yeah, silly you. . ."

Shooting me a weird out look as we crossed the pedestrian sign. Heading our separate roads, waving each other a subtle goodbye, I secretly whisper to myself, "I'll miss your company."

* * *

"Moron, I pity you so much! You know, it's like a love story. A really, really, really sad love story. I swear they can make a movie out of your life. Like they did on that movie. Except, it's a love kind of a story. I bet it would top Romeo and Juliet." Claudia squealed in excitement. It's not that she loved drama; it's just that . . . she thought it made so much more sense for me and Adrian to be together. And I don't blame her.

"It's not like that dork. It's harder to accept things, than to live by." I rolled my eyes at her.

"But it's different. I KNOW you two were meant to be together! When it comes to social life, love life, and fortune, I Claudia am never wrong. EVER!" she pressed. She

was so persistent on Adrian and I.

I turned to my left and was met by green flashing lights. 7:30, it read out. "Oh crap! I got to get going, I'm going to be late. Bye Claudia!" I picked my bag up and rushed out of her room.

"Adios, Eryne!" she called from her room.

I ran my way home. The autumn breeze brushing past my face, blowing my hair backwards. My breaths came in huffs and puffs, and I knew I couldn't run any longer. I slowed my run down to a jog, soon coming to a walk. _Just a couple of more steps and stairs._ I encouraged myself.

Although I must admit, I was never really good with the pep-talks. In fact, if I were to say it bluntly, I was never really good at much. A total fail. In everything. To everyone. To him. . .


	3. Problems To Ponder

"It's the last day of school and they're still together." I sighed. "So much for never being wrong in social life and blah, eh?"

Claudia rolled her eyes and cursed at me. "It's only one school year. Calm down. Isn't it a sign enough, when you found that you couldn't get over him like any other crush? Look, their relationship, it's only been a year. But your adoration towards him, it's been three years, turning four."

I sigh, knowing I couldn't argue with that. Me, the girl who could debate over anything and win. But this time, I'm gone. I can't.

"Jeez girl, come on we're going to be late."

I waited. I waited for the "it's over" scene. I waited to see Helen running out of school in tears. I waited for Helen's friends to curse Adrian out. I waited for the last second 'till the bell rang. I waited so long. And yet, nothing. He never said it was over. He never told her the words she would dread. Nothing.

I sighed, pulled my hood over and walked out of class in a fast pace. I couldn't take it anymore. Three-hundred-sixty five days have gone by, and yet nothing. Three hundred some days of heartache I had to bear, in hopes of relieving that pain. But no. my hopes were too high. Now, I find them all shattered. I know I sound too cheesy for anyone's taste right now, so I just keep my thoughts to myself.

I keep my mouth shut, even though I can hear my name being called out. I didn't want to have to explain.

"Eryne." _Damn his athletic abilities! He caught up._ "Eryne, what's up?"

I shake my head, not looking at him. One glance and I would willingly tell him my whole life story. And I couldn't afford that right now. Definitely not now.

"Eryne, are you crying?" He sounded so appalled. As if my tears had nothing to do with him. Again, I don't answer. I just ever so subtly wipe my tears away and keep on walking. Avoiding his stare. Avoiding his questions.

"Eryne!" He had some patience. I'm telling you this. He grabbed me by the shoulder, bringing my to a sudden halt I almost fall on him. He steadies me.

"Seriously, what is going on? Since when do you cry? Publicly at least?" He looked at me with so much intimacy, it could have fooled me. Tricked me into loving him more than enough.

I racked through my mind for excuses.

"Uhm, nothing. I'm just going to miss you guys, that's all." He looked at me for a while longer. Then he broke out to a fit of laughter.

"Wow! Just wow Eryne. You cried because of that?" I nodded. He pulled me into a bear hug. But I knew it was nothing more than for comfort and a friendly hug. It made my heart tear a little more, and made my smile widen a bit.

"Don't worry emo girl, I'll miss you too." He playfully pushed me by the shoulder. I gave him a slight smile.

"You'll miss _me_ or you'll miss making fun of me?" my eyebrows raised accusingly.

"Nah. I'll miss both. Making fun of you, _and _you. Even though we argue a lot, I mean you made my years quite interesting." He smiled sincerely. No mischief or trouble in his eyes. It made my stomach bubble a bit. I smiled and ran off swiftly.

I turned back around once more to see him still standing there. Still watching me run of. Still smiling genuinely. And it almost makes me wonder, _maybe, just maybe, he feels the same way about me too._

Sometimes I feel so silly getting my hopes up too high. But if that's the only way I can have him, then let it be. . .


	4. Conceited Conerns

It's been a week so far, and summer has been great. Well, aside from the overly sunny weather, and the sweat filled rooms, I'm doing okay. I got a summer job to keep my mind of things. I work in the library, stacking books on a shelf, sometimes reading to little children.

It wasn't the best job anyone could have, but the quite, calm, surrounding was goods for me. But today was different. This week was different. I was having a week off. The library will close down for a week due to maintenance. But the next week, I'll be back to my old routine.

So here I am, lying down on my bed. Just blankly looking up at my roof.

My phone went of. Glancing once at the caller I.D I knew who it was.

"What could you possibly want now?" I whined to the phone, rolling over to my stomach.

"Why, hello there to you too, best friend!" Claudia chirped happily.

"Okay, what's up?" I wasn't in the mood to play around.

"Want to go to the park? Play volleyball or something?"

"Wait, which park?"

"The one near _his _house_." Oh, crap. _Just when I thought I would never see him again. Why is fate so cruel? Mocking me with my continuous love for him?

"Uhm, sure?" it sounded more like a question to me than it did an answer.

"Uhm, Eryne. . .don't get mad okay? But, I invited him over." My breath flew out. And I'm sure Claudia heard it too. "Don't worry, Carlo is coming too." She gave me excuses, reasons for me to come down to the park with her. But none of which I listened to.

"Eryne c'mon he misses you." She whined. That got me. That got me and she knew it.

And soon here I am, holding a volleyball in hand walking down to the park with Claudia. My vision a blur as much as my thoughts. I felt so coy. So remote. I felt like I was going to see him for the sake of it. And yet, when he's not around, he's the only thing I think of. He's the only thing I crave. Trying to get over someone you can't, is the hardest thing you can do.

I felt a thump on my forehead. I turned around left and right, looking for the culprit.

"Chill out, it was me." Claudia sighed, rolling her eyes. Annoyance, clear on her face.

I sighed. Of course it would be her. She wouldn't hesitate to slap me out of my thoughts if you asked her to. But, that's what a best friend is.

"Hey it's emo girl, and her hippie friend!" Adrian's voice. So distinct, so familiar. I gave a smile. I had to. I had to make it seem like I didn't care. Like everything was alright. Like everything was just absolutely perfect. When truth is, it wasn't. It wasn't okay.

"Hey, douche bag." Claudia can come out just as harsh as any one can.

"Hey. Long time no see." I looked around for anyone other than the St. Bartholomew people.

"No one's going to be in the park this early Eryne." Claudia rolled her eyes at me.

"True." I agreed as I made my way to the swing set, placing my volleyball on the bench.

Adrian took the swing next to me and began swinging up high.

I just sat and rocked back and forth. "So. . ."

"So?" he stopped swinging immediately.

"You and Helen still going out?" I knew just how hollow I sounded at the moment, but I hoped that within the past week he at least sent her a message or something saying that they were through.

"Yup." He said popping the "p" out.

"You know. You have to be the most concerned person about our relationship ever." I froze. _What was that supposed to mean?_

I voiced my thoughts out, "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing too bad, it's just," he sighed, "Out of all people, you are the only one I know that constantly asks me that question when you get the chance to. It just makes me wonder, are you concerned or something?"

I nod my head, finally understanding him. "Just, concerned."

"Concerned? For me or for her?"

"You." I whisper, hoping he didn't hear me. Hoping that he would just get over it. Just let the subject go. But fate wasn't on my side today. Not ever.

"Shouldn't you be concerned for her and not me? Seeing as how she's your friend and I always insult you?"

I looked up at the sky. Dark gray clouds threatening to take over.

_God, please help me! Get me out of this without making him suspicious._

"Look, it's just that things have been changing lately. I don't mean to insult you or anything but, since you two have been dating, you have been acting like a puppy lately. Submitting to her every want. Agreeing to her every opinion. It's like you never speak for yourself anymore, you always take her side. And she's only ever sweet to you when she holds your hand or hugs you. But it doesn't seem like anything more. It's like she expects you to treat her like a queen or something."

I looked up at him, awaiting his reaction to my words. I kicked at the sand impatiently when he finally looked up. He smiled softly.

"You don't need to worry about my relationship for me. I understand and appreciate your concerns though."

"Are you mad though?" I looked down at my feet.

"Why would I get mad at someone who cares?"

I nodded in response.

_What could he mean by that? ". . . someone who cares." _

"Okay people! Volleyball time!" Carlo came running, throwing his hat towards me, hitting me by the knee. Adrian went off the swing to pick the hat up.

"You're such a dumb ass Carlo I swear." Adrian said, throwing the hat right back at him. But seeing as how he was an athlete, Adrian's throw hurt him more than Carlo's throw hurt me.

Carlo bent over, hands covering his groin. Acting as if he got hit there. At times like these I would have laughed out loud, but no. Carlo's jokes were so old, that it seemed extra.

"Boys against girls!" Carlo called out.

"Sexist!" Claudia replied, shaking her head at him.

"Fine them, just pick a team. Boy girl, boy girl." Carlo took the ball and ran around with it.

"I'm with Eryne." Adrian said. "Cause at least she knows how to play."

"Oh! What's that supposed to mean?" Claudia got aggravated easily. Especially by Adrian.

"Calm down Claudia. He's just purposely angering you." It gets tiring watching them fight. It's just all so old. He insults her. She retorts. He goes overboard with the insults. She punches him. End of story.

"Alright then. It's settled. Adrian and Eryne. Claudia and I."

Carlo positioned himself to serve. "Let the games begin!" and with that the ball came flying to our side of the line.


End file.
